It's half past 4 AM and I am pissed off. I'm pissed off because I know there's no way I'm going to write the main feature for our January issue to my satisfaction. I have, what, three days left to write about 27 freakin' artists. So far I've got an interview with Artstrong and a "Keith Martin go home" quote from 17:28. I knew this feature was going to be trouble, I knew I needed help -- but when I tried to get some help, from one guy (our hip-hop-reviewing freelancer JP), well, you know what our apoplectic cost-conscious boss had to say about that. And then I learn that for the exact same kind of feature, exact same number of artists, in the year 2000, he hired a small army of 11 writers. It makes me want to squeeze hamsters 'til their eyes pop out.
So now I'm getting text messages IN ALL CAPS bugging me about the story, and in the meantime, the pagination isn't even done yet, so I can't even gauge how much writing I do have to generate, and etcetera etcetera mutter mutter grumble grumble. I have this weird feeling that V. wants me to fuck up, to finally write a really crappy feature. Anyway, I should just stop griping and do what I can do, I know.
Okay. That's off my chest. It doesn't help that I've taken on so much freelance work, as usual. To refer once again to Kidlat's infamous juggling-as-life metaphor, I haven't quite dropped all my balls yet -- am still keeping some of them in the air -- but two or three of them are rolling around on the floor, and I don't know how long it'll be before I drop the rest. Ideally, I should be able to keep juggling (say, with one hand) while bending down to pick up the fallen pieces, but that may be beyond my skill, or patience, or drive. We'll see.
Haven't listened to music all day. Can't even think of anything I want to listen to. Been feeling the same way about food, too. Not a good sign.
On a happier note, my sister gave me a copy of Transatlanticism by Death Cab For Cutie when I stayed over at my parents' house Thursday night. Not too long ago, she also got me copies of two Shins albums, a Sigur Ros, and Frou Frou, too. She seems to have fallen in with a good crowd in college, at least music-wise. Ah, how quickly they grow up.
Jovan posted something in reaction to my "What Are You Listening To?" post, yay!
POSTSCRIPT. Sassy B. gave me a practical pep talk RE: the f!@#ing hip-hop article. I know what to do now. Thanks, bunny! :)
21 hours ago