I Like the Word "Smattering"

Hey, Paolo. Thanks for reading and commenting! I miss Dirt. I only ever had one copy of the damned thing, but that was enough to make me miss it. Anyway, interesting issue you raise -- I have a stack of PULP magazines next to my computer, so let's page through a random smattering of negative reviews, shall we?

from a review of
SIMPLE PLAN
Still Not Getting Any

God, grow up. These are bottom-of-the-barrel emo lyrics ... Celine Dion is likewise a French-Canadian, and even that diva can write better shit ... An immature sophomore album just isn't fun for anyone. Poo on you, Simple Plan. ~ Bernie Sim / December 2004

from a review of
THE STANDS
All Years Leaving

One reviewer likened The Stands to "The Beatles doing Radiohead," which is completely misleading inasmuch as it implies some inspiration or innovation ... Howie Payne is aptly named, as his vocals cause me actual physical pain, especially over the course of twelve songs ... The Stands is a band that shoots for earnestness and authenticity only to land in a limbo of unoriginality. ~ Luis Katigbak / November 2004

from a review of
PUDDLE OF MUDD
Life On Display

Everything's so bluuuurrryy... mainly because I am sleepy. ~ Joey Dizon / March 2004

from a review of
LILLIX
Falling Uphill

It figures that the first sentence of the Lillix bio in their press kit has 17-year-old Louise Burns denying that they're "manufactured". Press kit rule of thumb: whatever issue they confront in the first sentence, whatever it is they're taking pains to deny from the get-go, is true. Not manufactured, my ass. ~ Kristine Fonacier, October 2004
. . .

There are better examples, but they're not in the stack next to my computer. The Rivermaya review Kristine mentioned, a Dirty Kitchen review that got us hate mail, my Joyce Jimenez review (okay, that was fish in a barrel, but still, it was fun) -- the fact is, PULP, if anything, gets flak for being too mean and snarky -- I mean, obviously it's not, but that reaction is understandable when you read the ass-kissing reviews that crop up elsewhere. ;p

And speaking of PULP, I hear my last issue is on the stands now. Haven't seen it yet, but The Dawn is on the cover, supposedly in a pose recreated from an issue of 80s magazine The Score. I wrote the main feature, as well as a short piece on Kiko Machine. And that's it for me and PULP, pretty much. Excelsior!