Luis has lent me his copy of Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs (incidentally, a book I would not carry prominently on the top of a laundry pile in an elevator with strangers, if I were you), a book of essays from SPIN senior writer Chuck Klosterman. He's a very smart guy who has decided to use his brain for criticism of "low" (i.e., pop) culture, instead of, say, thinking of ways to end poverty, and I for one appreciate that. The book has chapters with titles like "This is Emo," "Every Dog Must Have his Day, Every Drunk Must Have His Drink," "Sulking with Lisa Loeb on the Planet Hoth," and, Paul's personal favorite, "Porn."
Filed under "The Lady and the Tiger" is what Chuck says are "the twenty-three questions I ask everybody I meet in porder to decide if I can really love them." Really useful stuff, actually, and while we will not infringe on Mr. Klosterman's copyright by posting all 23 questions, I would like to post one from time to time, to help our blogmates figure out the important things in life.
#5: You meet your soul mate. However, there is a catch: Every three years, someone will break both of your soul mate's collarbones with a Crescent wrench, and there is only one way you can stop this from happening: You must swallow a pill that will make evey song you hear--for the rest of your life--sound as if it's being performed by Alice in Chains. When you hear Creedence Clearwater Revival on the radio, it will sound (to your ears) like it's being played by Alice in Chains. If you see Radiohead live, every one of their tunes will sound like it's being covered by Alice in Chains. When you hear a commercial jingle on TV, it will sound like Alice in Chains; if you sing to yourself in the shower, your voice will sound like deceased Alice vocalist Layne Staley performing a capella (but it will only sound this way to you). Would you swallow this pill?
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