Sad Movies Always Make Me Cry

Watched Sad Movie recently. Kind of fun to realize that I can now instantly appreciate how 'star-studded' this film is, after having watched quite a number of Korean flicks since my very first one, Il Mare. The guy from My Sassy Girl is here. So is the girl from ...ing. (Ah, Im Soo-jeong! Sigh.) That woman from A Bittersweet Life is here too, and I now regret calling her "a low-rent Jeon Ji-hyeon," especially since I also saw her kick ass in Volcano High.

Anyway, here's an excerpt from the excellent Love HK Film review:

Talk about truth in advertisement. This mostly entertaining, star-packed film lives up to its title, although not necessarily in the way one might expect. Rather than deliver a straightforward melodrama, director Kwon Jong-Gwan instead delivers a genuinely funny romantic comedy, only to pull the rug out from under the audience in a brutally depressing final act. [...] Imagine a film in which likeable characters encounter life-altering problems, struggle to overcome them, and then seem to actually make some headway, only to have all their hopes eventually dashed in a swift and brutal fashion. If you can do that, you'll have some inkling of what Sad Movie is all about.

My favorite parts, aside from any of the scenes with Im Soo-jeong in them, were the funny bits: a bunch of amusement park employees in Seven Dwarfs costumes taking shelter from the rain, the sign-language banter between two sisters, the Seven Dwarfs beating up some hapless artist, and pretty much the whole Sassy Guy subplot, complete with absurd and amusing business venture. The movie-of-the-week mother and child stuff didn't grab me at all, and even the fireman story needed to be more compelling. Still, overall, it's fun to watch, at least until -- as Love HK Film puts it -- IT ALL GOES TO HELL!

Veni, Vidi, Vina

So the March 2006 issue of MANUAL magazine is out -- an almost-naked Isabel Roces, holding a chicken, is on the cover -- and it features my interview with singer/dancer/actress Vina Morales. Here's the first couple of paragraphs:

I think I was around 10 years old the first time I saw Vina Morales in person. Every year around Christmas time, a small and rather makeshift carnival would spring up near our village; while it had the usual attractions like a Ferris wheel and a shooting gallery, it was limited and ill-maintained, no bigger or cleaner than your average school fairground. For a preteen boy and his family, however, it was exciting enough, especially in those days, and our excitement was heightened a notch that year because of the celebrity supposedly in our midst. "It's Vina Morales," people around us whispered -- and there, standing less than twenty feet away from us was a young, petite, extremely cute girl wearing what my mind recalls as a red jacket of some shiny material, going around, oblivious to the attention she was drawing, looking at what the booths had to offer.

In the end, it may or may not have actually been Vina Morales, but what strikes me about the memory is that at the time, even though she was already undeniably a household name, it was completely plausible that she might pop up in some dinky neighborhood carnival near FTI in Parañaque, without fanfare or entourage. Despite her popularity as a singer and actress and the considerable talents that have marked her as anything but ordinary, she always had that accessible, 'you could bump into her on the street' quality, which is just one element of her seemingly universal appeal. Elderly aunts like her because she comes off as sweet and unassuming, younger cousins like her because she's, well, hot, and in all likelihood she's a hit among newborn babies as well, not that they can tell us.

More Vina pix, taken with my ancient Canon digicam, here and here. (Just to clarify, the stylist was going for a sort of Flashdance/"Hung Up" Madonna look here; Vina Morales doesn't dress like this in real life. Also, the actual photos for the magazine spreads were taken by a real photographer -- Pat Dy -- and are much nicer.)

A Boy and His Dog

A friendly reminder from Copper and Fred.

State of Emergency

"I've always said every time I hear calls for this country to finally come together that this country has never had any problems uniting. It has done so repeatedly and, as in the case of the two Edsa People Power uprisings, completely resplendently. Unfortunately, as the case of the two Edsa revolts also shows, Filipinos find it a lot easier to unite in fighting against a common threat than in fighting for a common good." -- from Conrado de Quiros' column today

Lots of interesting links on Adam's page about the current state of the nation. (Also on Adam's page: protest poetry, Dr. Strange, and pictures of girls in bikinis).

What We Blog About

Got a link to this "word cloud generator" from Dean. Basically, it creates a little snapshot of what you write about on your blog (or any site, for that matter); I assume the larger words are the ones used more often. Apparently, we post about Bamboo more than I thought -- and wait, no mention of Pogi Rock?! I like that little "yay" and "yeah" near the bottom, between "writing" and "years".

In other news, Yvette and I made the Neil Gaiman Writing Contest deadline. Whew. *collapses*

Anger Management; or, Francis Magalona Tears Jimmy Bondoc a New One

Wow. Thanks to Denise for telling me about this.

It's probably never a good idea to talk trash about a rapper. Words are their weapons, man.

Valentine, etc.

1. One Korean movie:

I watched ...ing last weekend. I enjoyed it a great deal, or at least the first three-fourths or so of it -- the last part dragged somewhat, and got a bit Hollywooden (lovely dream sequence, though -- you'll know what I mean if you ever watch it). As is the case with most romantic movies, some of the best parts were the meet-cute, getting-to-know-you sequences. From the review on Koreanfilm.org:

"The unusual title of this introspective and well-executed film refers to the present continuous tense in English. For the film's main character Min-ah -- a high school girl who has spent much of her youth in the hospital -- the present may hold a deeper meaning than for most of us.

"...One day, a young photographer (played by actor Kim Rae-won of Plum Blossom and My Little Bride) moves into the apartment below their home. He tries to win over Min-ah's friendship, first by stealing her lighter and later by calling her incessantly on her new phone. Min-ah is quite put off by all this, and has no intention of becoming friends with him, although her mother seems to be encouraging her...

"With her debut film, young director Lee Eon-hee has created a simple, moving story as well as one of Korean cinema's most vivid mother-daughter relationships ever. Im Su-jung -- virtually everyone's choice for the best new actress of 2003, after her award-winning performance in A Tale of Two Sisters -- plays Min-ah with a convincing mixture of reclusiveness and vulnerability...

"Directed with confidence and a clear-eyed perspective, ...ing is an overlooked film that manages to be both very sad and enjoyable to watch at the same time."

2. Two people reading letters to each other:



"I stopped celebrating Valentine’s Day a few years ago -- not, as some might surmise, because I’m a cheap bastard, but because it seems nicer to give thoughtful gifts and go on romantic nights out just any day, regardless of the calendar, because being in love is occasion enough. Still, I can’t help being affected by this Love Month jazz, because as a writer, many of my gigs are season-appropriate.

"Last January 30, Nokia launched its very pretty line of fashion phones, the L’amour Collection ...I was asked to write a small play of sorts about love, which would be performed by fashion icon Inno Sotto and two actors during the launch. We fleshed out the notion of a couple reading love letters to each other, much like the play Love Letters by A.R. Gurney. Inno Sotto had the idea that we should portray the eternal qualities of love -- that regardless of time period or location or gender, we all undergo the same agonies and joys, when it comes to being deeply, helplessly in love."

[from my column, The King of Nothing to Do, at the Manila Bulletin]

3. Three poems by Carol Ann Duffy:

Miles Away

I want you and you are not here. I pause
in this garden, breathing the colour thought is
before language into still air. Even your name
is a pale ghost and, though I exhale it again
and again, it will not stay with me. Tonight
I make you up, imagine you, your movements clearer
than the words I have you say you said before.
Wherever you are now, inside my head you fix me
with a look, standing here whilst cool late light
dissolves into the earth. I have got your mouth wrong,
but still it smiles. I hold you closer, miles away,
inventing love, until the calls of nightjars
interrupt and turn what was to come, was certain,
into memory. The stars are filming us for no one.

Words, Wide Night

Somewhere on the other side of this wide night
and the distance between us, I am thinking of you.
The room is turning slowly away from the moon.
This is pleasurable. Or shall I cross that out and say
it is sad? In one of the tenses I singing
an impossible song of desire that you cannot hear.
La lala la. See? I close my eyes and imagine
the dark hills I would have to cross
to reach you. For I am in love with you and this
is what it is like, or what it is like in words.

Valentine

Not a red rose or a satin heart.
I give you an onion.
It is a moon wrapped in brown paper.
It promises light
like the careful undressing of love.
Here.
It will blind you with tears
like a lover.
It will make your reflection
a wobbling photo of grief.
I am trying to be truthful.
Not a cute card or a kissogram.
I give you an onion.
Its fierce kiss will stay on your lips,
possessive and faithful
as we are,
for as long as we are.
Take it.
Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding-ring,
if you like.
Lethal.
Its scent will cling to your fingers,
cling to your knife.

4. Zero advice from Fran Lebowitz:

DAVID: This interview is actually going to be published in February, so in the spirit of Valentine's day do you have any advice for the lovelorn?
FRAN: There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn. You see, advice and lovelorn don't go together. Because advice makes love sound like some sort of cognitive activity, but we know that it isn't. We all know that it's some sort of horrible chemical reaction over which we have absolutely no control. And that's why advice doesn't work.

DAVID: Being in love is a chemical activity?
FRAN: In love, lovelorn, anything having to do with romantic love, has nothing to do with the ostensible ability to think.

[from Index magazine]

Zaturnnah: Ze Muzikal!

The cast and collaborators of Zsazsa Zaturnnah Ze Muzikal: That's Eula Valdes (who plays ZZZ) standing in the center; sitting in the center is Ricci Chan (Didi) and lying on his side in the center is Tuxqs Rutaquio (Ada). ZZZ is flanked by Agot Isidro (Queen Femina Suarestellar Baroux) and Kalila Aguilos (Femina understudy). Click on the pic to enlarge.

Yvette and I just watched the dress tech rehearsal of Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah: Ze Muzikal last night, and we had a blast. It's based of course on Carlo Vergara's excellent comic book, which was so good that I must admit I had misgivings about it being adapted for any other medium. Fans of the original story can breathe a sigh of relief -- for the most part, they did it right. You'll laugh! You'll scream! You may even cry. But immediately afterwards, you'll be laughing again.

As the press release says, it's "a fresh take on the usual superhero story" -- "but this time, the superhero(ine) is a simple provincial gay beautician named Ada who transforms into voluptuous Zsazsa Zaturnnah possessing uncanny strength after swallowing a huge stone. Yes, it's Darna in drag."

Tuxqs Rutaquio as Ada is great; just the right amounts of sarcasm, vulnerability and strength. Ricci Chan owns the part of Didi, Ada's flamboyant assistant and best friend; it's hard to imagine anyone else playing it so well -- s/he steals almost every scene s/he's in, and gets a lot of laughs through lines that are, or at least appear to be, ad-libbed. Eula Valdes as Zsazsa really works -- she does the bitchy one-liners and slapstick stuff and action scenes with little heed for her personal safety or dignity (which, believe me, is a good thing, in this case).

Arnold Reyes is fine as neighborhood hunk Dodong, though he seems to have lost a few IQ points in the transition from page to stage. We agreed that Agot Isidro as main kontrabida Queen Femina Suarestellar Baroux, while good, should have been a bit more over-the-top, should have had more fun with her role -- it would be interesting to see what understudy Kalila Aguilos does with it. The supporting cast really earns its keep, by the way -- as townspeople, zombies, and backup singers, they attack each and every one of their minor roles with energetic improvisation (as Yvette and I learned when one of them addressed us directly during a wonderfully chaotic street-vendor scene).

The official run begins today, February 10, and there are shows throughout February up until March 5. If you liked the comics, or if you just want to watch a fun (and funny) original musical, you'll enjoy Zsazsa Zaturnnah: Ze Muzikal! (Call the Tanghalang Pilipino office at 832-3661 or 832-1125 locals 1620/1621 or email ccptanghalan at yahoo.com for tickets, reservations and inquiries).

PS. Just found out -- according to Carlo's blog, "almost half of the shows have been fully booked even before the run has started". Hurry! :)

The Definition of Senseless Tragedy

Got an email from my friend Oli Reyes last Saturday, about the tragedy at the ULTRA:

Unbelievable. Wowowee just went on the air. Apparently, the several thousand people who did get into ULTRA are still there, waiting for the show to begin. I am typing this as the events transpire.

Willie Revillame standing on the ULTRA stage. As he entered, people started screaming "Wow wow Willie! Wow wow Willie!” Then he starts crying. At the sight of him weeping, people start screaming again, "Wow Wow Willie." One person screams "Willie ang gwapo mo!"

He then starts speaking, in tears, asking for apologies, saying that he only wanted to help people. He pleads with the crowd to understand what happened, and implicitly not to blame him or ABS for the tragedy... He couldn't believe it all happened. He asks people not to get mad if the show was not to go on. Most of his remarks are greeted by applause, except the one about please don't get mad if the show didn't go on. Willie Revillame then pleads for national unity.

Noli de Castro then comes up on stage, without much applause, except when he notes the fact that most of the people still have tickets which apparently will be redeemable or somehow still usable. Probably after minutes of looking, ABS is finally able to cut to a shot of sad faces in the crowd. The sad people look suspiciously rich and beautiful, and are probably ABS staffers. Cut to Mike Defensor, standing beside a man in drag makeup who in fairness looks sad. Noli actually sounds authoritative, calming, and sober, fatherly even. Willie on the other hand looks like a teen who just crashed his dad's car into 79 people.

I get the sense that these people inside Ultra had no idea of the extent of the carnage until Noli pointedly notes that "there are 79 dead bodies lined up in the streets."

Charo Santos now, no applause, her film career having died years ago. She pats Willie on the shoulder. I bet he's fired after two months, if only as part of the legal defense strategy. She apologizes, then goes into flight attendant mode, asking people to line up in an orderly fashion as they step out of ULTRA.

Willie then asks everybody to stand up for a minute of silence to pray for the dead. Noli and Charo then thank everyone and ask everyone to leave. People start repeatedly screaming "Wowowee! Wowowee!", thus revealing an appalling lack of perspective.

Sabi naman ni Tabachoi:

Ganito yan e. Imagine mong may hawak kang isang pirasong pritong manok. Tapos sa harap mo, may limang tao na hindi pa kumakain ng limang araw. Sinabi mong mapupunta ang manok sa mauunang makaabot sa manok. Winagayway mo yung manok sa harap nila na parang matador na may hawak na pulang tela sa harap ng toro. Hindi nila alam na may bangin pala sa tabi mo. Hindi sila nakatingin sa bangin. Sa manok sila nakatingin. Nahulog silang lahat. Namatay ang lima. Tapos hindi mo aaminin na kasalanan mo?

(Links to FrancisM and Conrado de Quiros' takes on the tragedy from his post).

Galaxies, Dancefloors, Etcetera

According to the snazzy Team Manila calendar on my wall, it's February -- and therefore, time for another mix CD made up of what I've been listening to for the past few weeks. Some of you have already been given copies; will burn more for other friends soon. :)

cabs, girls and galaxies
february 2006 mix

01. Send Help > The Modern Temper
02. Dinner Lady Arms > The Darkness
03. Carly (Goddess of Death) > The Capes
04. Roscoe > Midlake
05. Galaxies > Laura Veirs
06. I Wanna Know Girls > Portastatic
07. Black Cab > Jens Lekman
08. This Piece of Poetry is Meant to Do Harm > The Ark
09. Trains to Brazil > Guillemots
10. Por Que Te Vas? > Los Super Elegantes
11. Sheffield Shanty > Monkey Swallows the Universe
12. Recovery > New Buffalo
13. Concrete Jungle > Mig
14. Miles > The Southland
15. Hold Hands and Fight > The Rosebuds

I like all these songs a lot, naturally, but the best for me are the ones by The Modern Temper, Guillemots, Monkey Swallows the Universe, New Buffalo, The Southland, and The Rosebuds. "Send Help" is this great spiky-poppy concoction that starts off sounding slightly difficult, sails into an immensely appealing chorus, and then ends with what sounds like a duel between an electric guitar and a toy raygun. "Trains to Brazil" swings and grins and hits you upside the head with a brass section. The Southland sounds like a less wide-eyedly innocent Postal Service, and The Rosebuds are sad and inspiring all at once.

This was last December's edition:

beer, editors and dancefloors
december 2005 mix

01. Bullets > Editors
02. I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor > Arctic Monkeys
03. Cash Machine > Hard-Fi
04. Love’s on the Inside > Surefire
05. Is It Alright? > The Lovemakers
06. Are You On My Side > Rogue Wave
07. You Are the Girl > The Cars
08. You Only Live Once > The Strokes
09. When the Sunset Turns Red > Tsuneo Imahori
10. Beer > Itchyworms
11. Chicken Payback > The Bees
12. Deceptacon > Le Tigre
13. Rise Up with Fists! > Jenny Lewis
14. Winter in the Hamptons > Josh Rouse
15. Higher > Soft
16. Man of Metropolis Steals Our Hearts > Sufjan Stevens

I've been compiling mix CDs for friends for some time, of course, but last year it started to become a more or less regular thing (if three bimonthly installments is enough to constitute regularity). The December and October mixes were more of a clash of new and old than the current one, as you can see.

plans, headaches and sunshine
october 2005 mix

01. Plan to Stay Awake > The Deathray Davies
02. Here Comes the Headache > Spouse
03. You Make Me Wanna Die > Soft
04. Dilaudid (Marrtronix Version) > The Mountain Goats
05. Love's a Game > The Magic Numbers
06. Life in the D > Brendan Benson
07. Shut Your Eyes > Shout Out Louds
08. I Love a Man in a Uniform (Yeah Yeah Yeahs Remix) > Gang of Four
09. Love and Neon Lights > Niccokick
10. Straight Outta Compton > Nina Gordon
11. Dedication > The Numbs
12. Weightlifting > Trashcan Sinatras
13. We Can Have It > The Dears
14. Worry About the Wind > Hal
15. Sun > The Toms

Go! Go! Go!

If this world were less wayward and insane, "The Power is On" by The Go! Team would be a bigger hit than "Hollaback Girl." It's not a completely random comparison -- the Go! Team song shares a certain cheerleading quality with the Gwen Stefani track, but it is twenty times more awesome.

This was one of the revelations that came to me while I was watching my new Cool Britannia 2 DVD, a.k.a. "the best of British Pop and Rock Live." Other revelations: one of my new favorite bands, Hard-Fi, really suck live. And one of my old favorite bands, New Order, really really suck live. Not because they sound bad, as such, but because lead singer Bernard Sumner insists on hopping around and twirling in a dementedly awkward, dad's-gone-disco unintentional parody of frontman cool. Luckily, many of the performances were by bands that looked and sounded great live -- "Helicopter" by Bloc Party, "Michael" by Franz Ferdinand, "You Will You Won't" by The Zutons, etcetera. Radiohead doing "There There" was particularly good. On the other hand, on Coldplay's "Trouble," Chris Martin jerked around like he was being controlled by muppeteers; Graham Coxon's massive musical talent doesn't seem to extend to his singing; and even Travis seemed bored by their own rendition of "Why Does It Always Rain On Me?"

And The Fall -- somebody British please explain to me why Mark E Smith is still allowed onstage. His band sounds great, but he looks older than my grandfather, and my grandfather's dead. Age wouldn't be a problem if he could actually sing coherently, or in fact do anything coherently, but all he seemed capable of was slurring and drooling on the microphone. It's possible that he's suffering from some debilitating disease and I'm being horribly insensitive, that his performance was the soul-stirring Jools Holland equivalent of, say, a quadruplegic kid breakdancing for the Pope. In any case, I will say that he embarrassed himself less than Bernard Sumner did.

Am going to go watch "The Power is On" a few more times now. Excuse me.

Old Friends, Uruk-hai, and Wily Filipinos

Is that really the Rivermaya logo? It looks more like the logo of a bank or insurance company. Just sayin.

So last night at the Terno Records gig, someone asked me if I was, in fact, The Wily Filipino. While I flirted for a nanosecond with the notion of pretending to be someone I'm not (a notion that occurs to me with alarming regularity), I had to admit that I am just plain Luis of Kristine and Luis are Listening, international jetsetting genius and undefeated Ultimate Fighting champion. However -- there is a very real possibility that Kristine is secretly The Wily Filipino, given that a recent overview of some local rock albums had this to say about the new Rivermaya "Greatest Hits" CD:

"I'm probably remembering things wrong, but wasn't there a time when Rivermaya didn't sound like (or look like) Coldplay? Half the songs on this anthology have those faux-inspirational, hold-your-head-up-high lyrics that U2 should have abandoned twenty years ago; the other half sounds like bad Radiohead -- you know, kind of like Coldplay. In a word: insufferable."

The Terno gig/Up Dharma Down album launch reminded me in many ways of last year's Fete de la Musique: too many people crammed into too small a space, a strong Uruk-hai presence, and having to appreciate bands from too far away, due to the crowd (unlike in venues such as Saguijo or Big Sky Mind, where there is a very real danger of accidentally being tripped over by your favorite frontperson during a set). Ah, the price of popularity. Terno is an excellent label and I'm glad to see so many people drawn to their gigs, but now I'm wondering if there's a better place to hold the next one.

Indira and I ended up holing up in Chunky Farflung and Black Soup for most of the night to get some breathing space. Nice thing was that we kept running into friends and acquaintances, new and old: Brendan, Ginny, Katrin, Lala, Karlo, a couple of Luises (improbably enough), Crissy, Peach, Robert, ex-PULP photographer Gani, Eric, Kate, Therese and of course Fran, among lotsa others.

Drip's set sounded great from where we were, but from where we were, we could barely see them. Pedicab's set was a lot of fun; early enough in the evening that the crowd had not yet grown to unmanageable proportions, it got people singing along and -- in one case -- literally flipping upside down, kicking legs up in the air. Up Dharma Down -- the band of the hour -- delivered a surprisingly tepid set, marked by pseudo-jazzy instrumental noodling and a lack of really engaging material. People who had been waiting for the band all night long ended up drifting off, and talking distractedly amongst themselves (though "Maybe," as always, was a definite highlight). Am listening to their debut album now, though, and it's very very good; all bands have their off-nights after all, and UdD usually deliver exceptional performances.

But, returning to the subject of wiliness:

"The wily Filipino. How often have I gone to bed at night with that phrase echoing through my head. And yet only recently I became aware that I had never actually seen one. I had driven through Filipino neighborhoods, but everyone and everything I saw was rather straightforward. Signs signifying this or that -- the dry cleaner, the auto repair -- all seemed innocuous, but probably hid a true guile lurking underneath. I wondered under what circumstance the wiliness would come out" -- from In Search of the Wily Filipino, by Steve Martin

Fuzzy Memories

From Fuzzy Memories by Jack Handey:

"There used to be a house on our block that we thought was haunted, because you'd hear people screaming inside and because people who went in never came out. Later on we found out it was just a murderer's house."

*

"Once, when I got lost in the woods, I was afraid that eventually I might have to eat Tippy. But finally I found my way home, and I was able to put Tippy back in the refrigerator with my other sandwiches."

*

"Mom always told me that I could be whatever I wanted to be when I grew up, "within reason." When I asked her what she meant by "within reason," she said, "You ask a lot of questions for a garbage man."

*

"Maybe it's my imagination, but food seemed to taste better when I was a kid. Also, food would sing and dance and play musical instruments. But that could also have been my imagination."

*

"Hey, sport, how would you like to go for a drive in the country -- just you and me?" Grandpa had hardly finished the question before I was in the front seat of that big Buick of his. It was a beautiful sunny day, perfect for cruising the back roads.

Suddenly we swerved off onto a narrow dirt road and skidded to a stop. Grandpa hustled me down into a gully, where this weird European-looking couple was waiting. They looked me up and down, even checking my teeth. Finally they told Grandpa, "No. No goot."

Grandpa said, "Yes, goot," but that didn't seem to satisfy them. Then Grandpa said okay, but they couldn't have the money back they already paid him.

Then we got back in the car and drove home."

*

More Handey wisdom here. And hey, he writes for The New Yorker too! About Martians.

Hope to be at Terno Au Go Go tomorrow. See y'all there!

"Recovery"+ by New Buffalo

Go here and check out some of the loveliest purest pop music in recent memory. "Recovery" is fantastic, and so is "No Party"; I have yet to listen to "I've Got You and You've Got Me" but I'm hoping it lives up to the other two. Singer-songwriter Sally Seltmann (say that three times fast) describes her sound as "sparkly and loyal, old and worn," and even though I have no idea what that means, it somehow sounds right.

Time for beer
Checkered cheer
Now you're here
I can see so clearly
No more question marks
Sympathy cards
It's in the stars
Troubled times are clearing
Now it's recovery
Looks like it's gonna be OK

"I Kind of Still Smell Like Jollibee"

Another post that has nothing to do with music! But this time, it's not about comics, either. It's about... food! Specifically, fast food.

Found a link to this on a friend's LJ (her entry was locked, so I won't link to it), and it was... funny, and sort of annoying as well. About a bunch of Americans who wander into Jollibee, much to their dismay. I never really thought about how vast the difference between fast food places with essentially the same menus could be. I mean, a hamburger's a hamburger, right? Apparently not.

Meanwhile, Ty was staring at her Yumburger. "This isn't something we can eat," she says. "There's a pink... sauce... and it's pink?"

I tried being positive. "Do you think it's still Thousand Island dressing?"

She put the burger in her mouth and then instantly winced. "No."

"What's it like?"

She shook her head slowly, sadly. She whispered just one word to describe the taste of her cheeseburger: "Sweet."

"It's like Wendy's took all the goo that comes out of their burgers when they're done cooking them, pressed that down into a mold, froze it in a patty shape, and exported it to the Philippines, where they put it between some bread, put pink sauce on it and sent it back here."

Goddam. And I'm reading the whole entry thinking, "It's just Jollibee." Someone should take these people to a balut vendor. Not me, because I don't eat balut. But I'd gladly introduce them to, I don't know, isaw. Or friggin' sisig.

"I Wanna Know Girls" by Portastatic

Go here and download "I Wanna Know Girls" by Portastatic (also known as the other band of Superchunk frontman Mac McCaughan). It's just a great, great slab of sugary-sweet jangly-fuzzy guitar-pop fun; even when the lyrics go borderline sleazy ("I love your feet and your legs/ And everything going up from there"), they're delivered in such an earnest, happy manner that they end up being clever/cute instead. The whole song's great, but somewhere around the 3:17 mark, it actually starts to get even better, until by the end of this lyric it soars off into a solo:

I wanna know girls, but only love one
You are my source of energy
Hook a panel up to me
And shine down on me like the sun
Now you and your friends say love is blind
But I think it’s easy and kind
Or anyhow it could be
You buzz me like it would be
You think we’re in the movies
But movies never move me
Don’t think that you can lose me
‘Cause love is like an uzi
It weighs a ton
Oh yeah, my love weighs a ton
Hey!

*GUITAR SOLO*

Brings a big smile to my sleepy face. Note the Public Enemy reference in the last few lines. Fun stuff.

You Oughtta Know

Okay, I really should be catching up on sleep right now, but then I came across this list and I couldn't not blog about it.

From Clap Clap Blog: Just Say No To Pants --

SOME THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT MUSIC CRITICS
especially if you are a member of a (local) band

1. We do understand how much work goes into making an album. We also understand that our job is to then judge the results of all that work, which means you do not get a gold star for effort. You get gold stars for having a good album.

2. Just because people have different opinions from you doesn't mean there is something wrong with them.
a) With certain exceptions, generally involving emo.
b) This is especially true when it comes to your opinion of your own work.

3. Very few rock critics think of themselves as cool. They think of themselves, quite rightly, as nerds. If you think they are "trying to be cool," you are wrong. 90% of the time this means you are projecting based on the fact that you do not understand something the writer is saying.

4. If you do not understand something the writer is saying, that is not necessarily the writer's fault. Also, you don't have to read every word, you know.

5. When it comes to local bands, critics are almost always erring on the side of being too nice.

Read the rest of the list here. From personal experience, this pretty much all rings true. My favorite, however, has to be:

10. Please do not claim that we are not entitled to judge a work until we ourselves have produced a work in the same genre of equal quality. (i.e. "Oh yeah, well let's see you make an album as good as I'm Wide Awake It's Morning!") The inescapable corollary of this is that the musicians are then not worthy of being reviewed by us until they can write a better critical essay about a box set, or 200 interesting words about a band that there's not a damn thing interesting about. This is a game that nobody wins.

One last item before I hit the sack: will probably check out Soukelya later --

Soukelya is a two-day event staged by an ukay-ukay and art collective to take place at The Coffee Way (72-A Maginhawa Street, UP Village, beside Holy Family school) starting on the 21st of January 2006, Saturday. It will feature an art show, books, apparel with histories (garage sale/ukay-ukay), cds, vcds and dvds for sale, and a music trading hub.

The featured artists who will open their exhibits on Saturday, 8 pm are Pog Gomez B., Joaquin Misa and Roselle Pineda. The clothes and other things on sale are curated by Mel Baizas, Ginny Misa, and Sarah Raymundo with their friends. Everyone is invited.

Backstreet Boys Become Backstreet Men in Backstreet Ritual*

Don't they look so happy and gay? Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Five hours after the fact, and my ears are still ringing with the ecstatic screams of thousands of young men and women. But enough about that, let's talk about the Backstreet Boys concert at the Araneta Coliseum instead. Yes, I was there. No, I would normally not have gone, but I happen to love my girlfriend, who happens to love the Backstreet Boys. Yes, I did end up enjoying myself. No, I did not scream like a wounded horse, not even when they tapped their chests and pointed at the crowd. Yes, this is the first concert by a foreign artist I've gone to since -- wow, I can't even remember. Does Mig Ayesa count?

Anyway, I leave you with this quote uttered by one of Granta's Best Young British Novelists:

"Isn't that the song about anal sex?" -- Dan Rhodes, referring to "I Want it That Way" by the Backstreet Boys

(Check out Dan's site! It's funny).

*Headline stolen from -- where else -- The Onion

Sidekickery

"You are desperately in need of a wacky sidekick!" Sandman meets Ambush Bug, Ambush Bug Nothing Special #1

Dear Gloss Girl: yes, when I become a superhero, you can be my sidekick -- and you can wear this. Muahahaha! Seriously, no, I don't want you to be my sidekick -- sidekicks always get replaced, killed off, transformed into grotesque sand creatures, or they just plain... suck. We will be full partners in crimefighting! Like Miracleman and Miraclewoman! Okay, bad example. Like Hawkman and Hawkgirl? Without the wings, weapons, and ridiculous beaky facemasks. And instead of actually doing nightly patrols, we'll just hang out at home and watch DVDs. Criminals beware!

Jewel, am as yet undecided RE: my super vigilante name. I think the costume has to come first. Judging by the available objects in my house, I can be Ratty Black T-shirt Boy, Wears-Throw-Pillow-on-Head Lad, or Toilet Plunger Man. Tsiakhyie and Biryani, thanks for the info on Lawin. I think there's a little bit of that kind of heroic madness in all of us. Look at Kristine -- she thinks she's Batman, too!

The Justice Society of Justice

Meet Doktor DiscorD and Mr. Silent: real-life superheroes.

You heard me! (Or rather, read me). REAL-LIFE SUPERHEROES, who patrol their city on their nights off and punch out injustice whenever they come across it. Mr. Silent knows Tae Kwon Do, Judo, Karate, Kendo and one or two other martial arts, while Doktor DiscorD has "a PhD in Asskickology."

One may ask, how I can call myself a superhero if I can't fly or run at Mach 3. The answer is simple. I am idealistically super. I see what, in my opinion, needs to be changed in society and I work towards that goal. I can't say if I will ever fight an army of giant robots or not, I just don't know. What I do know, however, is that I will fight injustice in whatever form it takes, whether it be a mugger or a criminal mastermind. If you are asking yourself right about now if I am serious then the answer is definitely, yes. I actually do go out and fight crime..." (from Mr. Silent's MySpace page)

Click on the pic and scroll down to read the interview with Mr. Silent (who, oddly enough, seems fairly talkative) at Lying in the Gutters. There are pictures of the other members of the Justice Society of Justice -- like Doom Bunny and Kid Christ -- on their MySpace pages. And click here to read the post on these dapper crimefighters at Warren Ellis' site. (My favorite comment: "I live in Indianapolis, these guys are real, I have seen them on the street. I'm not sure if they're crazy or just... I'm pretty sure they’re crazy.")

Crazy or not, I think they are an inspiration. As soon as I train myself to be at the absolute peak of human athletic perfection (and take a few Krav Maga and Arnis courses), I'm going to fight crime too. Or I could save some time and give myself the power to fire deadly metal projectiles from my hands at great velocity by, say, buying a gun. Not sure how the Justice Society of Justice feels about guns though.

And of course I'm going to need a cool name and costume.

PS. Just remembered: doesn't UP Campus already have its own superhero? That crazy guy with the cape who's always dragging a toy car behind him? Or am I mixing him up with another crazy guy in the Quezon City area? Anyone who knows who I'm thinking of, please post a comment. :)