Ten Things About X-Men: The Last Stand

Holy crap, Brett Ratner pulled it off.

Yvette and I watched X-Men: The Last Stand at the Podium last night. I have to admit, I wasn't expecting much. I mean, X-Men was pretty good and the sequel was even better, but everyone knows that Bryan Singer, the director of those two flicks, decided to run off and do Superman Returns instead of a second X-sequel. That left someone whose main claim to fame was the Rush Hour movies, starring Jackie Chan and whatsisface, to chronicle the next -- and quite literally most explosive -- chapter in the Marvel mutant saga.

And yeah, Ratner pulled it off. It's not award-winning artsy stuff, obviously, but it is a hell of a ride. Since the first two movies established all the rules, this one hits the ground running. And now here are Ten Things About X-Men: The Last Stand:

1. Yes, Stan Lee has a cameo (it comes early in the flick).

2. And yes, fellow comics geeks, there is a fastball special.

3. Also, there's a scene where Rebecca Romijn is nake-- *sound of readers stampeding to movie theaters* Hello? Hello? Is anyone still out there? Oh well. I guess I'll go ahead and do the rest of the list anyway.



4. I am so glad that they got Kitty Pryde right. Growing up, reading writer Chris Claremont's run on X-Men (and yes, regarding his artistic collaborators, I prefer the Cockrum/Smith/Romita Jr. era to the Byrne stuff, and of course to the 90s stuff as well), despite the fact that to my knowledge I was never a teenaged girl genius with phasing powers, I was totally, totally into Kitty's story: the ups and downs, her triumphs and heartaches. (The issue where Colossus dumps her because he had fallen in love with some dead alien woman -- oh, man.) She was the soul of the X-Men, for me. And she may not have gotten much screen time here, but what little moments she did have were great -- particularly the one where, in time-honored X-Men comics fashion, she defeats a foe she should have absolutely no friggin' chance against. Plus, Ellen Page is such a cutie. I would have felt slightly creepy about typing that last sentence, but a quick IMDB check confirms that she is, in fact, of legal age.

5. Storm does have much more to do here: aside from gaining a few cool new tricks in battle, she's portrayed as more essential to the team and the school. In fact, in one scene, Prof X tells her that she is the one he envisions taking over the school in the event of his passing on. It brought back nice comics memories of when Storm became the X-Men's field leader after Cyclops/Scott Summers left. Made for many many good stories by Chris Claremont, way back. However, the movies will never, ever get her hair right, ever. It may be that it's not humanly possible to get that mane of white hair right outside of the comics. Funny, because I would have thought it would be Wolverine's hair that would be impossible to portray onscreen.



6. And speaking of Wolverine -- of course he gets the best lines and the key scenes. The movie audience has spoken, and they likes 'em some Jackman (why that sounds vaguely dirty, I don't know). Even in the comics, he's by far the most popular, so there may very well be something inherent in the character that appeals to people. However, like most fans who have been reading comics since the 80s, I'm pretty sick of him getting the spotlight all the time -- but the interesting thing is, Wolverine-as-pivotal-character does work better in the movies, probably because Jackman-as-Wolverine is funnier, less angsty, and yes, more domesticated than the comics version. Also, he was established in the first movie as being the audience's POV character: the one with the irreverence to remark to the Prof, "So, she's Storm... he's Cyclops... who are you, Wheels?" Having said all that, I am amazed at how many people they depict him eviscerating onscreen. Total disregard of the usual "only kill when there is no other option" comics rule. So in a weird way, movie-Wolvie is both more candy-ass and more bad-ass.



7. Famke Janssen really throws herself into the role of Jean Grey/Dark Phoenix. Her acting's almost too much, at times; but then, hey, this is super-powered soap opera we're talking about. The story calls for her to be -- by turns -- vulnerable, savage, detached, ambivalent, and fucking scary, and she does it all convincingly. There's a certain scene where you won't know whether to be turned on, or horrified, or, God help you, both.

8. Magneto will fuck your shit up. You will believe that a man pushing 70 can tear apart a city with the power of his mind (and some fancy shmancy hand gestures).

9. As you may have already gathered, there are a lot of characters here; literally dozens of them, mostly based on the comics, though you wouldn't know it to glance at them. Recognition usually comes when a character calls another character out by name ("That's Arclight?!"), or in some cases, when the end credits are rolling ("Where the heck were Psylocke and Jubilee?"). Certain characters that had major roles in the first two movies have either had their roles reduced or are completely absent this time around. Nightcrawler is nowhere to be seen; presumably he rejoined the circus. And, this may be a bit of a spoiler, but Rogue doesn't have much to do here either. Comics fans will realize that she played such an active role in the Claremont and post-Claremont stories because she had already permanently leeched off Carol Danvers' powers of flight, super-strength and near-invulnerability by the time she joined the X-Men, and thus was much more handy in a fight; that hasn't happened -- and most likely never will happen -- in the movies. Still, despite the huge cast, many members are given a chance to shine.

10. The story, despite weaving together no less than three major plotlines/themes from the comics and a whole bunch of other subplots and sub-themes, is remarkably simple and easy to follow. Motivations dovetail nicely; setpieces spring out naturally. The people who put together this movie knew what to use and what to leave out: it is, after all, possible to do the Dark Phoenix concept without involving the Shi'ar (and thank God, because Lilandra's hair is more impossible than either Storm's or Wolverine's. And can you imagine the giggles that Gladiator's space mohawk would have garnered?) There are some relationships that originated in the comics but are handled slightly differently in the movie (like the enmity between Storm and Callisto), and some that for the most part belong to the movie alone (the Iceman/Pyro rivalry); as noted, these guys knew what to leave and take and what to invent. In terms of juggling, many balls are tossed into the air, and it's amazing how many of them are caught once again by movie's end, though there are one or two that end up falling to the ground.

And that's all for now. So, is X-Men: The Last Stand worth seeing? Let's ask Kitty:



X-Men: The Last Stand -- a film about prejudice, equality, power, responsibility, and hair.

Two in One

From Cynthia's blog:

"These four albums from SonyBMG are just the first batch of a series of 2-in-1 cds that feature the music of 90s bands like Yano, Sugar Hiccup, Sandwich and Color it Red. Don’t mistake them for greatest hits collections though -- they’re actually a repackaging of two original albums per artist that came out in the last decade. So buying one cd will actually give you two albums for the price of one, neat-o!... The cds go for P285 each, and please stay tuned because there are six more coming."

Very nice work! Am definitely getting the Sandwich set. I only ever had a cassette copy of grip stand throw (and even that is missing now). Will have to think about Sugar Hiccup though, since I do have a CD copy of Womb. Then again, I think P285 is actually less than the first CD originally cost. :)

Am wondering what the "six more" that are slated for release are...

Dan's Top 10

Calling Colin Farrell a "Boyzone reject," naming Sex Lives Of The Potato Men as one of his favorite films, and oh yeah, writing over a hundred excellent short stories -- gotta love Dan Rhodes. I'd like him even if he didn't marry one of my favorite friends from college. Go here for his "Literary Top 10" in the May 2006 issue of Pulp.net. No... not that Pulp.

And speaking of matters literary, today's the deadline for The Bridport Prize and I'm going to miss it! Just like I missed the Palanca deadline last month. *slashes wrists* Sometimes I really just want to drop all this other writing crap that I do -- well, maybe not my column -- and just try to seriously get back into writing short stories again. Oh well.

Waya, this Wednesday

Waya quietly sips tea just before ROCKING YOUR BLOCK OFF

Waya Gallardo is probably the best singer I have ever seen perform live, and that's not something I say lightly, and it's not something I say just because she's my friend. I still remember watching her do a Led Zeppelin cover at Mayric's -- she was on her knees by song's end, singing her guts out, sending electricity up everyone's spines, bringing smiles to the faces of whatever Rock Gods may exist. She's equally adept at doing soulful renditions of songs by such masters as Al Green and Marvin Gaye, and let me tell you, you have to be really good to even attempt to do stuff that those two have already done.

One of my top three gigs of all time has to be the one where Waya and Beng Calma jammed with Squid 9 in Big Sky Mind, over two years ago. Waya and Beng improvised impeccably, weaving lyrics and melodies over the stylish sinuous sounds of Raimund Marasigan and Company, with Rann Golamco on riff-slinging duties and Raimund himself freestyle rapping. It was impressive as hell, and loads of fun.

And now, after a too-long hiatus, Waya's doing gigs again. She's got a gig on May 17 -- that's this Wednesday -- at 10 PM, on the third floor of Bite Club, Katipunan ("Sa tapat ng Blue Ridge"). She'll be doing covers of David Bowie, Scissor Sisters, Duran Duran, and other stuff. See y'all there.

PS. Non music-related plug! Aside from rocking people's blocks off, Waya also bakes great desserts. (I especially enjoyed her "dessert dream list" post.)

Songs from Sesame Street

Oscar the Grouch and Johnny Cash performing "Nasty Dan"! Grover and Madeline Kahn singing "Sing After Me"! Bert doin' the pigeon (get your minds out of the gutter)! AND The Pinball Number Count and The Ladybugs' Picnic! Get 'em here. :)

Spider-Smooching

In answer to Kristine L.'s comment on the post below -- " I don't know how they can french when Spidey has his mask on"-- well, I just had to show y'all this:



From Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-man #75 (February 1983) -- incidentally, one of the biggest influences on my young, developing mind. (To this day, I only kiss people while wearing a mask that covers half my face. Aside from the kink factor, it makes it tougher for people to press charges.)

Brokeback Superheroes

From the DC/Marvel team-up Batman and Spider-man by DeMatteis and Nolan

And where was that, exactly? Wait. Maybe I don't want to know.

Don'cha Wish Your Girlfriend Would Seethe Like Me

Some of the best mash-ups marry the undeniable fun of disposable pop with qualities more substantial or classic from other songs, and transform something that may have originally been unlistenable into something that might have you setting your player on "repeat." For example, this insanely enjoyable mash-up of the Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps" with AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long." Or this surprisingly kick-ass number -- a mash-up of the Pussycat Dolls with Veruca Salt. Many more marvelous mash-ups on Party Ben and DJ Mei-Lwun's sites -- as Fergie would say, check it owwt!

Truth Be Told

Call it the miracle of MTV: while watching the video for "Truth" by Bamboo for the third time, I realized something -- I like this video. This was followed by a couple more realizations in quick succession: I like the song too, and -- most surprising of all, to me -- I like the band. Sure, the Chungking Express feel of the Chinese restaurant scenes in the video may have something to do with it, but I wouldn't have enjoyed the experience so much if the song -- or band -- sucked.

My feelings for the band Bamboo have shifted several times over the past years, actually: from almost-total indifference, to mild irritation (when their "Hoy! Pinoy ako" anthem was at the height of its overplayed popularity), to grudging respect (they are very good at what they do), to... well, nowadays, I just plain like their stuff. I don't love it, not yet, but who knows what the next album may bring.

I admit that seeing some of their ads -- especially the ones where lead singer Bamboo is pulling that rawkk!! face of his -- got in the way of my appreciating their music a little bit, but I understand that people have to make a living, and after all, many a band has emerged from endorsing products with integrity mostly intact. Hey, if I can still like The Dawn after hearing the beer commercial version of "Salamat" played 500 times while we were waiting for their All Hallow's Eve concert to start (yes, I am old), I can live with some Pony-shilling.

So props to Bamboo. "Hallelujah" may not have been as big a hit as "Noypi", but it was a better song, and "Much Has Been Said" has its own easy, laid-back charm (though I didn't much care for "F.U."). Bamboo, as a band, just seems to be improving with each album. And you know, Nathan looks so much more decent now with his new haircut.

My fearless forecast: Bamboo will bring home a shitload of honors at this year's Awit Awards.

Badly Named But Successful

See, this is why I love The A.V. Club. They do articles like this: 10 Successful Music Artists With Terrible Names. An excerpt:

1. Pearl Jam

Pearl Jam was briefly known as "Mookie Blaylock," and it even toured under that name until someone sensibly pointed out that it might be confusing for a Seattle rock band to share a name with the number 12 pick in the 1989 NBA draft. The solution: Change the name to Pearl Jam. Why? Vocalist-guitarist Eddie Vedder once suggested that it had something to do with his grandmother's recipe for peyote jelly, but the most plausible explanation is much more prosaic. It couldn't have anything to do with semen, could it? Remember: When you name your band, you're stuck with your pick.
. . .

5. Metallica

Would anyone buy a hip-hop group called the "The Rappers"? If Metallica hadn't set the gold standard for metal, the name would make them a joke.

"Me and Mia" by Ted Leo + The Pharmacists

Do you believe in something beautiful?
Then get up and be it
Fighting for the smallest goal: to get a little self-control
I know how hard you try, I see it in your eyes

I'm loving this song so much right now. I know, I know; it's about two years old! But I heard it for the first time last night, thanks to a visit to ...good weather for air strikes. This may sound dorky, but "Me and Mia" makes me feel the way the theme song "The Touch" from the Transformers movie made me feel when I was a kid -- and yes, that is a very good thing. I was going to try to describe the song, but a quick search showed that Zeth Lundy of PopMatters had already done a good job of that:

Regrettably, there is no better way to describe "Me and Mia", the opening song on Ted Leo + Pharmacists' new record, than to cuss it out. In italics. Uncreative, emphasized profanity.

It's wicked fuckin' catchy.

The blistering minor-key changes in the chorus, the skanky bridge, and the passion in Leo's voice are all unshakable. Songs don't come equipped with hooks meatier than "Me and Mia". When they sink their curved, metallic spikes into your auditory consciousness, setting off countless neurotransmitters of pleasure, you'll do anything to retain the sensation of that blissful first listen. You'll find that the repeat button (or, for those of you listening on tape decks, the rewind button) is the cheapest local anesthetic. If you think you can drink it out of your head, trust me, it's damn near impossible.

Download the song here (right-click on song title, Save Link As). It's track #3. Lots of great stuff in this mix, btw: the fantastic "Trains to Brazil" by Guillemots, stuff by Mates of State, Rilo Kiley, etc., and "July July" by The Decemberists.

25 Albums

Got this album cover grid-maker link from Kristine L. Isn't it a purty sight?

"To be fair, I didn't include albums that I don't own physically. So that means no downloads," Kristine wrote. So I followed her example. I own, or owned all these albums once upon a time, even if it was just in prehistoric cassette format.

Also, I limited myself 1. to a 5x5 grid, otherwise I might eat up the rest of this page; and 2. to only one album per artist (my first version of this thing had 5+ XTC albums). So here they are: some of my favorite albums over the years.

Create your own Music List @ HotFreeLayouts

Stone Roses purists may note that I used the "Best Of" cover instead of the first album cover. That's because their first album cover is ugly. ;p I also used "Best Of's" for Prefab Sprout, New Order and Queen. What the hell. That's how I discovered those bands as a kid: through Best-Ofs. Rock snobbery be damned!

Yvette's Column

Yay! Yvette has a column! Yay! Go, check it out! It's funny, well-written and informative, and I enjoyed every single sentence of it. Except for the one about "oiled, olive-skinned men with six pack abs". Hmp.

Hearts, Razorblades and Holidays

My bimonthly music mix is finally done! Actually, I finished compiling it over a month ago, but I only got a new printer cartrdige (not to mention blank CDs) recently. Here's the tracklist -- you can download certain songs from the original sources, by right-clicking on their titles and selecting "Save Link As":

01. Like a Star > Corinne Bailey Rae
02. Can’t Do a Thing (To Stop Me) > Chris Isaak
03. Debris > The Southland
04. Your Mangled Heart > The Gossip
05. Razorblade > The Strokes
06. Calleth You, Cometh I > The Ark
07. Camellia > Buried Beds
08. I’ve Been Thinking >
Handsome Boy Modeling School feat. Cat Power
09. Oo > Up dharma Down
10. Go To Sleep > The Eames Era
11. Your Kisses Are Wasted On Me > The Pipettes
12. Sister Jack > Spoon
13. Chase the Night > New Sense
14. Big Surrender > Ghosty
15. One Big Holiday > My Morning Jacket

There are a few older songs this time around, like the Chris Isaak (my favorite song from San Francisco Days, the only Isaak album I ever owned). The Southland and The Gossip are two of my new favorite bands -- "Debris" makes me do air-guitar and "Your Mangled Heart" makes me all tingly. Another NFB (New Favorite Band) is New Sense, which is new wave-influenced dance-rock -- you can download mp3s from their site, if you're curious (I highly recommend "Chase the Night" and "Rollerskate").

The Ark song is way, way over the top, but I love it; so catchy and overly dramatic. I ripped the excellent "One Big Holiday" by My Morning Jacket from the WIRED Creative Commons CD. Thanks to Margie, btw, for Spoon's Gimme Fiction! "Sister Jack" is probably the most immediately likable track on that album, but it's all good stuff. And "Camellia" by Buried Beds is just a lovely, lovely love song.

Mishka, Mon and Monkeys

I got the April-June 2006 issue of UK Link in the mail the other day; it's a little magazine that British Council Philippines produces to get the word out about cultural goings-on like The Bridport Prize and Mon David winning the grand prize in the world finals of the London International Jazz Competition for Vocalists. This issue also has a short piece by Mishka Adams about settling in at her flat in North London ("It's the first time I found out that you need a TV license just to watch TV! Ye gads!") Looks like she'll be wowing new audiences with her talents pretty soon. "We'll be playing in Spain (we've sold 500 CDs there -- woo hoo!) and France in May which is exciting, but we'll do some local dates before that so the band can gel."

Something else I found interesting: a theater group called Peepolykus is coming here, to perform a set of some of my favorite comedic short plays, apparently. "For the Philippine tour scheduled on June 30-July 5, Peepolykus will present All in the Timing, a series of one-act comedies portraying the joyfully absurd world of absurdity where chimps attempt to write Shakespeare, faux pas can be edited from conversations, and new languages are improvised." The article is somewhat poorly written (the joyfully absurd world of absurdity?) and quite badly edited, with a paragraph beginning in mid-sentence, but the thing that really bugs me about it is that it gives the impression that All in the Timing is by Peepolykus themselves. Unless by some cosmic coincidence there's more than one set of short plays with the same name involving chimps, Shakespeare, conversational do-overs, and a Universal Language, what they're talking about is the work of one David Ives, who is not mentioned anywhere in the article.

I ordered my copy of All in the Timing: Fourteen Plays years ago, in the days before Amazon, from Scribe and Brewer (remember Scribe and Brewer in Shangri-La Mall? And the pizza place next to it? Both gone now, sigh). I remember performing -- for lack of a better word -- "Philip Glass Buys a Loaf of Bread" with a bunch of college friends in Waya's apartment. Reading the play out loud like that makes you feel like you are being hypnotized and driven crazy, at the same time.

According to UK Link, "All in the Timing goes onstage for matinee and evening performances at Equitable PCIBank's Francisco Santiago Hall on July 1, with a subsequent show at Liceo de Cagayan's Rodelsa Hall on July 5. For ticket enquiries, please call 914-1011 to 14." "Words Words Words," "Sure Thing" and "The Universal Language" are all highly imaginative, entertaining works; they're a blast to read, and it would be nice to finally see them performed as well.

"Ironically, my first date was with a girl whose last name was Kafka, and I took her to see The Sound of Music. God knows how that experience warped me, but several therapists have turned me down for treatment on the basis of it." -- David Ives

Ghost Stories and Guinea Pigs

There's a review of Siglo: Passion over at inq7.net, by Ruel de Vera. Here's an excerpt:

Twelve stories array themselves in parade as Passion's primary arsenal, each tackling a different decade and location. As always, the stories intend to show off the unique attributes of the writers and artists. Passion bookends the stories with Suarez's illustrated poems and a sensational cover by Illenberger, all in all a gorgeous package.

Solid work abounds from all around. There is a dark, dark undercurrent in Passion as the storytelling here is quite mature and very sophisticated. Manalo's tale, combined with Drilon's graphic gambits, generates a creepy vibe that is taken even further by Vergara's spooky, meaningful anti-romance. Alanguilan's ghost story is harrowing in its stillness.

Ibardolaza's deceptively bucolic pattern unhinges, because of how it hides and then unleashes the truth in Groyon's story. Go-Alfar's story uses the artists' strengths to craft a lushly rendered journey to unexpected and bittersweet redemption. On the other tangent, Simbulan and Atienza's cozy piece makes wise use of a recipe passed down through the generations.

The book's most hypnotic, most arresting piece is "Manila 2019." In Katigbak's reality-bending exploration through what amounts as romance and obsession at an age where the soul hides behind the oh-so-aptly chosen avatar.

How can you not get into a story that has an oversized guinea pig named Briggs walking around in a dystopian Philippines? It's a well-written parallel to what's happening among the whiz kids of today and what may happen still.

Naturally, I was grinning from ear to ear after I read that. And no, I do not have a voodoo doll made of wax and bits of hair from Ruel de Vera, nor have I ever given him a substantial amount of money. (For that matter, I've never had a substantial amount of money to give.)

By the way, for anyone who has read, or may read, my contribution to Passion -- slight error: the name on the first door is supposed to be "Vincent," same as on the last. Speaking of names, I think I took almost all the character-names from people in the local music scene (Rann, Diego, Briggs, etc.) -- I hope they don't mind.

My favorite stories in Passion, btw, are "Malacanang 1968" by Quark Henares, Antonio Abad and Ma-an Asuncion (creepy and original), "Makati 1988" by Jamie Bautista and Shelly Soneja (witty and engaging), and "Baguio 1992" by Cyan Abad, Elbert Or and Jamie Bautista (heartfelt and heart-wrenching).

Feel the BURN

I like this photo, because it makes me look like I'm slightly taller than Marcus. I'm not.

It's been a little over a week since BURN magazine hit the stands, and we've been getting very encouraging feedback via texts and some of the mailing lists. :) We're hard at work on the second issue now, and we'd really like to hear more from you guys -- reactions, questions, suggestions, offers of money, obscene limericks, etc. How else are we going to put up a Letters page for the second ish? ;p

We haven't set up an official BURN email addy yet, but in the meantime, you can post something on this blog, or send me something at thekingofnothingtodo at yahoo dot com :)

BECK: Mongolian Chop Squad

So last week I watched all 26 episodes of BECK: Mongolian Chop Squad, a Japanese animated series with no giant robots, no planet-shattering punches, and no tentacle sex -- just a simple, often funny, often touching story about rock n' roll dreams.

The main character is an easygoing 14 year-old wastrel, Yukio "Koyuki" Tanaka; when he rescues a weird-looking patchwork dog named Beck from being harassed by some idiot kids, he meets the dog's owner, a genius guitarist named Ryuusuke -- and soon enough, his taste in music expands beyond J-Pop pap and he starts learning to play the guitar as well. This soon leads to the formation of the five-man band named Beck (named after the dog, and apparently not the quirky American musical artist) -- the series is about the band's ups and downs, which weave in and out of Koyuki's personal troubles and joys. There's lots of teen angst of course, and moments of high drama and romance, and naturally, lots of music -- often pretty good, although the stilted English lyrics may mar your enjoyment.

My favorite character in BECK is Saku, Koyuki's stalwart friend, who sort of looks like Jimmy from Beerkada (inasmuch as they both never seem to have eyes). Yvette pointed out that he's the most unpredictable character -- low-key but confrontational, talented but not showy. (Her favorite is Taira, the hot bassist with a penchant for taking his shirt off.)

It's hard to say what makes this series so compelling -- the plotting is solid but not exceptional (a bit slow in parts, a bit rushed in parts), and the characters are appealing but not always fleshed out. I guess it's a lot of things, a lot of little touches. Some stories just have it, I suppose: that indefinable hook, that momentum that carries you along. Part of me even thinks I'm too old to have enjoyed BECK so much, but then again, rock n' roll dreams are forever.

Interviewing VJ Paula

There are days when I hate my job. The day I interviewed Channel [V] VJ Paula Malai Ali, as you can probably tell from the picture to the right, was not one of them. Believe me when I say, though, that I didn't enjoy the interview because she was easy on the eyes -- although that was a definite plus, I admit -- I enjoyed it because she was smart. And funny. And gave the impression that she wasn't too concerned about saying the pat, proper thing. The interview was conducted about a year ago, and ran in FUDGE magazine. Here's the first draft of the article, in full:

Paula’s POV | VJ Paula talks about Sting, Shakespeare, and her sins | by Luis Katigbak

"I am a big fan of William Shakespeare." These are words that one does not realistically expect to be spoken with any sincerity or conviction by a TV personality in this day and age, more's the pity. But Channel [V] VJ Paula Malai Ali is no ordinary television personality.

"I think that every time you read one of his plays, one of his works, you find something different," she says, continuing to extoll the virtues of the Bard. "You understand it a bit more -- or you understand it a bit less. He was quite a clever lad." This demonstration of quick wit, flavored with a dash of sly irreverence, would perhaps not be unworthy of The Merchant of Venice's Portia -- incidentally, theatre veteran Paula's favorite Shakespearean role. It was while she was playing the lead in a production of the Willy Russell play Educating Rita, however, that an editor discovered her and decided to put her on the cover of his men's magazine.

After that, she admits, "the offers just rolled in" -- and now she is that rarity: a celebrity with substance, with an impressive list of television, radio, stage and even internet credits to her name, not to mention a number of modeling gigs. Certainly her good looks -- a happy result of her mixed Bruneian and English heritage -- would have garnered her attention in any case, but she's far more than just another pretty-smiled media darling. Her sharp intelligence, self-deprecating wit and amazing work ethic mark her as extraordinary: on the day of our shoot, despite being hampered by illness (brought on by a bad plate of pasta, one crew member theorized), she gamely struck poses and emoted for our photographer, and answered all questions with her sense of humor intact.

Paula grew up in Brunei, and moved to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, ten years ago; she's been a VJ for Channel [V] for about three years now. She's on no less than seven shows: The Ticket, The 10, The US Billboard Countdown, The Rock Show, Video[Scope], Remote Control and The Inter[V]iew. "I have the best job in the world," she says, in her quite frankly mesmerizing accent. "I think if you talk to a lot of VJs, they'll agree. I'm in a very privileged position; I do travel so very much. I mean, I've been traveling nearly every two weeks." Just before her stint in Manila, she had been on jaunts to Los Angeles and Singapore. "I think that could well be why I'm kind of sick today. Exhaustion."

Still, the perks of the job are undeniable: I ask her about the artists she's interviewed. "Alicia Keys was very gorgeous and very warm. Sting -- I enjoyed Sting, 'cause I'm a fan. It's nice when you're a fan of these people, and you meet them. Norah Jones gave me a nice interview." She thinks for a moment, and concludes, "A lot of the girls gave me very nice interviews... Duran Duran gave me a hard time. They were difficult." Difficult in what way? "Simon Le Bon was defensive. I don't know what he was defensive about. But, you know, there's something to be said for interviewing Duran Duran." She was, apparently, a fan of theirs, growing up.

Which leads us to the question of what she's listening to these days: "I find I'm getting really regressive with my music tastes, I think because my job calls for 'the latest, the hippest, the trendiest' music. So I've really gone back to my 80s roots -- 'cause I'm a child of the 70s -- and my 80s music has become something I really enjoy. My Wham, my Lionel Richie -- I'm quite unsophisticated like that." This amusing revelation leaves an opening for me to ask her about something one normally does not discuss with a lady. "You mentioned that you were born in the 70s," I begin. "I realize it's not polite to --"

"I'm 31," she says bluntly, saving us both some trouble. Most people think of VJs as bubbly young things in their teens and early twenties -- so I ask her what it's like, being a VJ at her age. "I'm sure I probably would have gotten this job in my early twenties as well, if the audition had come then," she muses, "but I would've not been as comfortable and confident as I am today. I just think, in terms of my personal approach, I'm glad I got this job when I was in my late twenties, because I feel a lot more dignified in it, I feel confident in it." It shows: the handful of extra years gives her a kind of casual authority that callow hosts lack. Aim a silent prayer to the gods of TV for their wisdom in bestowing VJhood on this particular thirtysomething.

"I don't ever want to be one of these VJs that is just wearing a really gorgeous top and is just talking complete rubbish," Paula continues. "'Cause you can get away with talking complete crap, you really can. But I never want to be that person that is just like 'blah blah blah, white noise white noise.' That's not my job." I ask her for more specifics on how she goes about her job. "I try to really make it my own, you know? Because I have a personality, and I want it to come through... I ad lib a lot, much to the chagrin of my crew -- they're like, aw, we have to edit that now, dammit!"

It's interesting to note that such an independent, feisty spirit is also the wife of a prince: Tengku Kudin, nephew to the Sultan Kedah, to be exact. I ask her what it's like, being married to royalty. "It's, um -- you know, I'm fascinated by it, because the particular family that my husband is from is one of the oldest royal families in the world. So it's interesting when I go back to the palace when we have to attend functions or whatever -- I see a lot of history. You know, I find it fascinating, and I love the fact that they have so much of a past... They're so proud of their heritage, and they love to tell me of their family tree. To me it's been a cultural lesson, more than anything else. I didn't suddenly change my lifestyle, and go around wearing a tiara. I drive myself to work, I'm renting a house, you know?"

As the theme of this issue of FUDGE is "Sins", our talk naturally turns towards that always-fascinating topic. "My sins are quite tame," Paula asserts. "I like salt, that's my sin. I'm a sodium-sinful girl. Anything with salt on it. I like potato chips and..." At this point she trails off, perhaps contemplating the dizzying array of salted snacks this plane of existence has to offer. She names another sin, something many Filipinos can identify with: "My phone bill is too high. That's a sin, it's sinfully high every month. There's my roaming fees, and I call my twin sister up like every day -- it's crazy. We just spend too much money on the phone."

Aiming for a nice round number of three deadly sins, I encourage Paula to talk some more about her transgressions. "Another sinful thing I do is that I have a tendency to be a bit too frank. Has this gotten me into trouble?" she asks, anticipating my next question. "Yeah. I need to really work out the wiring in my head sometimes, because -- have you seen that episode of Friends where Phoebe says, 'Did I just say that out loud?' I do that. -- 'Did I just say that out loud?'"

"I think the latest example is when I was interviewing Robin Williams two weeks ago, in L.A.," Paula says. It was time for her to wrap up her interview with the Academy Award-winning comedian and actor, when she realized -- "Well, I've got nothing. You've given me nothing," she told him. "Because he was doing his voices and his characters and not addressing my questions," she explains. (Immediately afterwards, the thought flashed in her brain: "Damn, why did I say that?") And did he give you something after that?, I ask. "No -- I don't think he was really there. He was just doing his thing."

Robin Williams doing his thing may be an interviewer's nightmare, but the exact opposite is true for Channel [V] VJ Paula Malai Ali. Long may she continue to charm and enlighten viewers and reporters alike, by bringing a unique perspective and determination to her work, by remaining true to her personality, by doing her thing.

Burn, Baby, BURN

It's here! It's here! Or at least, I hear it's here. The first issue of new music magazine BURN is available at magazine stands and bookstores now, according to texts I received from Kristine and Denise. Am heading to a mall later to get a copy myself. :)

As you can see, for our debut issue, a decision was made to go with four different covers: Orange and Lemons, Pussycat Dolls, Pupil, and Christian Bautista + Nina. Aside from our four cover subjects, there are also features on Up dharma Down, Pedicab, Itchyworms, Kitchie Nadal, The Bitter Pill, Jason Mraz, Barbie Almalbis, and many more artists, as well as columns by Quark Henares and Lourd de Veyra, and of course, a CD compiled by Zach Lucero, which has interviews and songs by Nyko Maca, Morse and others. There's a lotta great stuff, if I may be so immodest. :) Get it now! Woo hoo!

Narda Now

Narda lead singer Katwo lookin' good as always, while the boys get their sulk on

There are a couple of gigs this Saturday, April 8, that look promising. The 18th installment of Revolver has a killer lineup: Isha, Itchyworms, Pedicab, Sino Sikat, and The Bitter Pill (yay!), plus a couple more acts. It's at SaGuijo though, and while I do like SaGuijo, it's kind of far from where I live, and transpo to and from is always a bother. On the other hand, there's a gig that same night at Big Sky Mind on E. Rodriguez, which will feature -- among "many others" -- Narda, a band that I haven't seen in far too long.

Narda was one of the first bands I wrote about when I joined the staff of PULP magazine; I had seen their EPs on sale at the Sarabia Optical in the UP Shopping Center before, but it was when I covered a gig at Ateneo that I first saw them perform live and was hooked. Here's the first draft of a short feature I wrote about them, back in 2003:

Narda's members claim a variety of influences. Katwo Librando, the lead singer, likes bossa nova. Ed Ibarra, guitarist, is a grunge fan. Wincy Ong, bassist, listens to the mods, the punks -- "everything European". JV Javier, guitarist, likes the blues and heavy metal. Happily, instead of forming an incomprehensible and unlistenable mess, these elements have come together in catchy, stick-in-your-head compositions. It is worthwhile to note that drummer Ryan Villena's favored act, the Beatles, is also the entire band's common denominator.

Ryan, one of the band's main songwriters and a veteran of various local indie acts, formed the band Narda during August of last year, with three objectives in mind. One, to have fun; two, to perform and hone original material; and three, to help the community. The first two objectives are common enough for any rock band. The third needs some explanation. "Our label, Ponkan Music, it's a non-profit organization," says Ryan. "We use rock n' roll music to promote good causes, and to give money to charitable institutions." The first beneficiary of their cause is Tulong Dunong. "It's this scholarship program for deserving public school students." JV sums everything up: "We record our music, we help people -- everybody's happy!"

Of course, as Wincy (who is the band's other main songwriter) points out, they make music that people would want to buy and listen to anyway -- it's not like the charity factor is the only, or even the main, draw. He stresses that these are really songs -- writer-based, lyrics-based songs, as opposed to glorified jamming sessions.

Anyone watching one of their gigs -- or listening to their recordings -- would agree. Songs like 'In the Afternoon' and 'Santong Paspasan' are full of the kind of straightforward pop-song goodness that is all too rare nowadays. The sound on their two most recent EPs is still a bit raw, befitting its DIY roots, and yet rich too, with some charming trumpet flourishes on Suwerte, and the sweet strains of a viola, not to mention the spiralling guitar sound of their mysterious guest, 'Gaddi Shankar', on Burador. At P50 and P30 each, respectively, you'd be hard pressed to get better musical value for your money. (The EPs can be found at their gigs, or at Sarabia Optical at the UP Diliman Shopping Center).

The band name, as you may have guessed, comes from the all-too-human secret identity of local komiks superheroine Darna. "Naaliw kasi ako sa character ni Narda, kasi siya yung hindi Darna, kung baga, siya yung tao," says Ryan. He points out the symbolism involved. "Lahat tayo, pilay, at gusto nating lumipad."

In just a little over half a year, Narda have played a great number of gigs, released three 4-song EPs (with another one due this May), gotten airplay on NU, and filmed two videos -- not bad at all for a bunch of mere humans.

Judging from the photo above -- a recent addition to Katwo's Friendster page -- only two faces I'm familiar with remain in Narda: Ryan, on the far right, and Katwo herself. (Ed left before the fourth EP, and guitarists JV and Nico Africa "amicably resigned" last July.) The last time I saw the band perform, at one of those Terno gigs, Wincy was still with them. Their sound had already changed by then; I wonder what they sound like now.

Cryogenics, He-Man, and "Eggy in a Basket"

Yay, reading material! And a recipe.

Click here for a scan of a complete single-issue story from Warren Ellis' Transmetropolitan -- "Another Cold Morning." For those of you unacquainted with the comics, it's a series set in a half-nightmarish, half-utopian urban future starring Spider Jerusalem, a journalist who bears more than a passing resemblance to the late Hunter Thompson. This issue focuses on someone from our time, however, who is frozen and revived in Spider's present. I've always thought that the best parts of Transmet were the ones that told a complete story in one go rather than in a multi-issue arc, and this is a good example.

And here's one feminist's account of how she was inspired by a certain cartoon when she was growing up. The cartoon? He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. No, really.

Those of you who have watched the excellent V for Vendetta (and if you haven't, what are you waiting for? Hurry, it's still showing in some theaters) may remember a breakfast-cooking scene -- actually, two breakfast-cooking scenes -- involving something called "eggy in a basket." Here's a recipe for this simple dish, and here's an account of one blogger's attempt to make it. We could argue about the merits of the movie as opposed to the original graphic novel, Alan Moore's insistence on removing his name from the credits, the responsibility or lack thereof in glorifying alliteration, knifing people, and blowing up buildings, or even about the authenticity of "eggy in a basket" (zero, acording to Moore; it's not an English invention, apparently), but one can't argue with butter, eggs and bread. Mmm. Okay, unless you're a vegan.

The Definition of Skongkrang

skongkrang - n. sobrang chaka ng pagka-jologs. As in kung ang jologs na-jologan sa iyo, sorry na lang, chief, skongkrang ka.

. . .

Ano man ang unit cellphone mo at marami kang load, kung Gn2 k nMn mgTxT (e.g. Wer n Ü d2 na me KninA p aQ), tas puro walang kwentang cryptic messages at higit sa lahat alam mo ang pangalan ko at di ka nagpapakilala (at pahinga-hinga ka lang kapag tinawagan ka), ay potah, skongkrang ka.

Thank you, Jovan, for making me laugh today. :)